These wellness coaching techniques stemming from my previous professional life have been adapted, step by step to enhance our unique abilities to face the dragon and find insights to lift our spirits and general wellness.
Each new step really does take us forward on the path of healing although it may not seem that way at first. The “problems” (i.e. opportunities for growth) and possibilities suggested are signposts for you to consider as you strive to live with a more peaceful heart.
Real problem #4: Guilt
This is believing that we have been hurtful, that we have failed or committed some kind of wrongdoing. I dare say that most chronic illnesses bring a fair amount of guilt that eats away at our peace of mind. For this reason, it is very important to sort out the precise source and nature of this uncomfortable, sometimes painful feeling.
Guilt can be an adequate response when in fact, we did misbehave or speak unkindly. It is the result of remorse, our need to make right a situation that our inappropriate actions have made awkward, uncomfortable or tense.
Guilt can also be totally unfounded; an illusion unconsciously concocted by our “poor me” ego that needs drama to make our life interesting. Ugh… Because we are often obligated to call upon the help of others, we think our situation can somehow be made right if we feel guilty about it. Illogical; as Mr. Spock would say! Just as needless is feeling guilty about decisions we made ages ago…
Dragon taming step #4: Fix it or unmask an illusion
If we have behaved poorly, offended someone or done something we know is wrong, then we owe it to our self to make things right. By first acknowledging our error and forgiving our self for being human; living with pain and exhaustion for years can certainly wear out our patience! I know I have a pretty short fuse on some days. Yes, we have every reason to be less than gracious at times but it is something for which we need to take responsibility. Then we can:
- Admit that we were wrong; say we’re sorry. Very hard on the ego but, oh, so healing all around!
- Ask for forgiveness and make amends in whatever way we can. Showing that we care about our actions’ impact on the other person is an act of love.
- Learn from our mistake or lack of compassion. Make a list of more appropriate responses to future challenges involving other people.
- Move on. Whatever situation you did your best to fix, let it go. No more guilt!
When we take the time to search inside our heart and find that our feeling guilty is just an unfounded and false impression, then we need not give further attention to this irrational illusion. For example, feeling guilty for having an illness that you’ve had for so long is totally unjustified no matter what other people may have to say about it. Let’s practice saying “Bye, bye guilt!”
Remember that taming a dragon can be done one breath at a time. I will have six more steps to share in the following months. I believe they will help you – as they help me – find ways to render your dragon more manageable without having to fight it. Just getting through the day is a struggle; we know better than anyone that we deserve to be gentle and kind to our self.
See you on the path of healing and beyond,
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P.S. Attracting online traffic to the issues that matter to us is an important factor in making our plight more visible so, if you see this in a private group: liking, commenting (sharing) directly on my website, my FB author’s page and also on WordPress would really help. To keep it simple, all the links you need are on mariannegranger.com
We never know when a small gesture reaches someone who needed it just at the right time!
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