How to Tame your Dragon/Part 8 of 10, Self Doubt

Snoopy et Woodstock

I think it’s important to once again, make the distinction between life situations and real problems: We can’t avoid life situations; everyone’s got one after another all through life.

Most people believe that if only they would solve the problems in their life, all would be wonderful. For some it’s lack of money, lack of time or lack of communication in their relationships that stand in the way of their happiness. The list is long. For those of us living with chronic illness it’s likely that our issues are being unable to take part in a work we enjoy, a social life, a love life, engaging with our family or anyone for that matter. They could come from being in pain, bed-bound, housebound, or barely functioning in the outside world.

In the past few months, we’ve looked at some real problems that we can overcome because they are within. These real “problems” (i.e. opportunities for growth) and the solutions I suggest are ideas for you to consider as you strive to lift your spirit and general wellness.

 

Real problem #8: Self Doubt

When we doubt our self, we keep our true nature hidden for fear of being exposed as incompetent or worse, as a fraud. I’ve received a couple of unkind comments after publishing Higher Maintenance in 2016 and since beginning these self-help blogs. One person asked me how I could call myself a Life Coach. She wanted to know what right I have to tell her how to live her life since I had no idea what her life is. Although I explained that my (pre-illness) professional work never involved telling people how to live their life and even gave her my credentials, she was very critical of me. Although constructive criticism is always a good thing, one can sense when it’s just plain unkind.

This type of experience is often a trigger for our insecurities confirming that, in fact, we’re not that good at what we do or do not do. In those times, I find that I have difficulty affirming myself and can’t find the courage to take action or to go on with what I thought was right for me.

Have you noticed how adept we are at questioning our own abilities, our talents, our opinions or our behavior? That little voice asking: “Who do you think you are?” can be persistent and over time, we may perceive its rants as truth.

 

Dragon taming step #8: Take Action

What makes you special? Well, for one, thing, YOU are the #1 expert on your life. You call the shots.

When I start to doubt my self, I take some time to think clearly about what my talents and strengths are and I make a list. Am I perfect? Of course not. And I don’t need to be!

What are you good at? We will all make mistakes and what we choose to do may not be award worthy but if it brings us joy, peace or any sense of wellbeing, then it is nothing short of fabulous! There’s no reason for taking any comment personally, no need to judge our accomplishments. We will anyway…but that’s OK as long as we just take action, continue, keep going.

You can start small and as the famous phrase goes: Just Do It!

There will always be lessons to learn when we choose to take action. Our inner wisdom can guide us toward a life that reflects who we truly are and brings us a sense that we shine, even if it’s only in our little corner of the world.

 

See you on the path of healing and beyond,

Marianne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author:

Canadian author Marianne Granger lives with ME/CFS. She is a Life/Wellnes Coach and the author of Higher Maintenance, a self-help book published by Balboa Press.

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