I confess that writing this part of the series is challenging for me. Like so many of you dealing with chronic illness, I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and my morale has taken a dip lately. Fortunately, I had these wellness coaching techniques planned out from my previous professional life and I am adapting each step to enhance our unique abilities to face the dragon and find insights to lift our spirits and general wellness.
Each new step really does take us forward on the path of healing although it may not seem that way at first. Let us explore together these simple notions and questions so that each of us can find our own answers. After all, when it comes to you, there is no one as brilliant, smart, astute, deserving or as good when it comes to knowing exactly what’s in your heart.
Real problem #3: Confusion
This is a feeling that you are lost and pretty much unclear about what you’re supposed to do next. It is the distinct impression of having no idea of what to prioritize. The sense of being overwhelmed seems to greet us every single day! Time flies by before I get around to brushing my teeth, I run out of clean clothes, food is running low in the fridge, no competent doctor in sight, sick and tired of all this pain, exhaustion and isolation. I have to get help, but where? And so on. And so on. Confusion spins around in my hurting head and eats away at my very limited energy. It just seems that if I do nothing, maybe things will get sorted out. Somehow. Sound familiar?
I don’t know about you, but that does not work for me. The only person who can help us make some sense of our life is our self. And here’s the next step!
Dragon taming step #3: Responsible choices
I consider myself pretty responsible but I could scream when some well-intended person implies that I am sick because I’ve done or am doing/thinking something wrong. You know, those lovely folks who are convinced that you’re guilty of wanting to be sick! That’s when we get defensive. That’s when we explain that if we wanted to be sick, we’d choose an illness that gets some medical attention and does not condemn us to a life we wouldn’t wish on anyone.
So why is it that making responsible choices is important to us? Well, because even if we are guilty of something, – and who isn’t? – that does not give us a free “give up on your life path” ticket. This may not be the way you envisioned your life but you are now living differently and that requires a new direction and different ways to actualize your vision. This is where you take out your notebook and begin to map out your path:
- Make a list of your values; all of them. Take your time and don’t leave anything out. What makes your life worth living? Love? Family, safety, comfort, honesty? What core human values are most important to you?
- Go over the list of your personal values. Maybe you’ll cross some out or add a couple. Now, sort them in order of priority; take your time to make sure this list resonates for you. Choose the first three values. (You can continue with the others at some later time.) For each of your first three values, write one concrete action, no matter how small, that you can do to embody that value; map out a plan to introduce those actions in your life one day at a time.
- Your life is your own. You can align yourself with your moral compass, choose your direction and do something extraordinary for yourself and your little corner of the world. As you move forward on your own path, confusion will fade away as you manifest what really matters to you.
It is important to remember that thoughts, words and deeds are all actions. Taming a dragon can be done one breath at a time. I will have seven more steps to share in the following months. I believe they will help you – as they help me – find ways to render your dragon more manageable without having to fight it. Just getting through the day is a struggle; we know better than anyone that we deserve to be gentle and kind to our self.
See you on the path of healing and beyond,
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Love and Light.